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Scene Ideas
Here, you can submit, and view other people's ideas for funny scenes involving Hans, that should be on The Simpsons!
If you have a scene idea that you would like to go on this site, email me.
Idea 1
Marge and Homer are waiting in a queue to see a movie.
Hans Moleman tries to push into the line.
Homer - Hey you! Get out of the line! Marge... he pushed in!
Marge - Oh, for heaven's sake. Hans, can you go to the back of the line?
Hans - Aww, but I want to see the mooovie.
Homer - Yeah, we all want to see the movie, so just get out of the line before I go and-
A football flies out from nowhere and hits Hans in the stomach.
Homer - (laughs)
Another football flies out, but hits Homer.
Homer - D'oh!
Idea 2
Homer is driving to work, but gets stuck behind Hans, who is driving at 10mph.
Homer is beeping his horn.
Homer - Hey you! Put your foot down on the... pedal... thingy that make car... speed up!
Hans - Whatever you saaay!
Hans' car speeds up, breaking the speed limit. He is stopped by Chief Wiggum.
Hans - What seems to be the problem officer?
Wiggum - You were going at 310mph back there, or was it 130? Anyway, get out of the car.
Hans is given a breathalyser test.
Wiggum - According to this, you are 10 times over the legal limit!
Hans - I tried to stop, but I couldn't!
Wiggum - I have no choice but to arrest you.
Hans - What about my car?
Wiggum - Erm, I'm sure someone will come and steal it!
Hans - Aww...
Wiggum - Yeah, I'm sure they'll give it a better home!
Idea 3
It is late at night, and Hans Moleman has just been in a car crash. Homer drives towards him in his car, obviously drunk.
Hans - (Shouts) Please can you stop?
Homer nearly runs Hans over and drives on.
Hans - Aww, I'm so cold and lonely.
Silence, apart from the usual night-time sounds of birds, other animals and the wind.
Hans - My foot hurts, and I think I am bleeding internally.
The sound of an animal can be heard behind Hans, and then the silhouette of a bear can be seen. Hans turns around.
Hans - Finally. Somebody has come to rescue me...
Idea 4
Hans walks into the Androids Dungeon to ask whether he can go to the toilet, but Comic Book Guy won't let him.
Hans - Please can I use your bathroom?
CBG - No you may not. The last person who used it got it blocked. It took me 1 whole week to unclog it, when I could have been sorting through my collection of Star Wars figures.
Hans - Please can I use it? I can't hold on for much longer. I'll pay you anything.
CBG - I tell you what, you can use it, IF you buy something from the shelf over there.
Hans - But that says not for sale.
CBG - Exactly. You cannot buy it, therefore you cannot use my bathroom.
Hans - Aww, but I really need to use your bathroo... oh dear...
CBG - Not again!
Idea 5
By Sam Bennallick
Everybody's in a bomb shelter except hans.
Homer - Hey you, little wierd person with a drinking problem, get in here!
Hans - I can't!
Marge - (mumbles) Oh lord. Why Not!?!
Hans - I'm stuck!
Ned - On What- diddly -at?
Hans - A mole.
Ned - A Mole!!!!!
Hans - I'm Their king.
Marge - Tell them to help you down!
Hans - Heeeeeelp... Meeeeee... Dooown!
Suddenly he is sucked to the fortress of the moles. A bomb hits and kills the whole town except Marge. Hans comes back up after the bombs stop.
Marge - (To herself) Wow, No one left. Just me, talking to myself.
Hans - Yourself! I thought i'd made a friend! I'm Going to the mall, it's where I cry.
Marge - We're the only ones left!
One year later:
Hans - Honey, I'm home! How are the kids?
Marge - Well, Alberta's fine. So are Billy, Bob, Bobby, Bill, Billy-Bob and Bobby-Bill, but Little Joey hit Maggie Jr. Again!
Idea 6
By Sam Bennallick
Hans is at Dr Hibbert's clinic.
Dr Hibbert - Hans, if you drink another beer, you'll die!
Hans - Okay, awwwww who am I kidding? i'm off to Flaming Moe's.
Hans drinks a flaming moe, a new wrinkle appears on the side of his head he falls to the floor dead.
Moe: Hey Barn, get the death broom, it happened again!
Hans: Ohhhh!....Uhhhhh!
Idea7
By Matt Kula
Mr. Burns is in his office trying to think of a way to stop Hulk Hogan from buying the powerplant.
Mr. Burns - Smithers I can't let that bald-headed overgrown buffoon take over my beloved plant! Where would all my imported Nazi labour go?
Smithers - I don't know for sure, but I don't think that they're too happy anyway.
Hans Moleman crawls in on all fours dressed as a Adolf Hitler. He looks tired and his face is frowning.
Mr. Burns - Nonsense! You're happy, aren't you laddy?
Hans - Jeder tag... ohhhhhh my only functioning kidney... ist mehr schmerz fur mich sir!
Mr. Burns - Why, that's not real German! Die, traitor!
The goons walk in and repeatedly stab Moleman in the head. The scene is a bloody mess.
Hans - Oh no, I think I've lost my wallet!
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If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please email me.
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